Well Olivia celebrated her 4th birthday on the 17th of September. I sit and wonder what she would be like, what would be her favorite toy, would she like for you to do her hair, would she had started preschool this year, and the one thing I wonder about the most is what would she look like. I with I had an answer to all those questions but I know that it isn't possible. All I can picture is how she looked while we played and her little cheeks how you just wanted to reach out and pinch them every time you looked at her. Things are not getting any better or easier and I still deal with the pain almost every day. I just try to keep moving and keep my chin up for her. I know there are still things in life that I will do that will be in her honor and when those times come I will do it with pride. I am not happy to be a mother of an angel but I am happy that Olivia is MY angel! I know that it might sound funny but its true. I love Olivia with all my heart and her place in my heart will never be filled no matter what happens in my life. She touched my heart and when she passed she took a piece of it and that piece can never be replaced or mended. It will always be Olivia's!! I sure wish there was some how of getting Olivia back into all empty arms that want to just hold her......I wish.............. These past years have sure made me a different person. I feel that I am not the same. Olivia has changed a part of me that will never mend. She has made my heart more caring, my feelings for others stronger, and my choices I make more important. Amazing what a baby can do to you. These changes I know would still be the same if she was still with us. I hope that Olivia had a wonderful day in heaven on her birthday and that all the angel babies got together and remembered all of us here on earth. OLIVIA HAPPY FOURTH BIRTHDAY AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU VERY MUCH, MY LITTLE PRINCESS!!!