Candlelight Vigil

Tonight we went to a candlelight vigil at the Christmas Angel Box Statute that is in a cemetery in Idaho Falls. Its was for all the families that had lost children. It was really nice. Every one left a flower or a token at the base of that statue and a few mothers told about their losses. I hope to make it out there to take a picture tomorrow and I will post when get it.. I really hate this time of year because its hard to get through everything with out having that hole in your heart take over your thoughts. Like when we are wondering what to buy on your Christmas list and you wish that you could add Olivia's name to it and when you sign up for the kids party that Kurt's company has every year you wish that you could sign up two kids. I am not saying that the rest of the year is any easier this time of year just makes it a bit harder. If we could go from November to March I would be happy but I guess these are months that help you be stronger. They make you sit back and think about what you are really thankful for and all the blessings that you have been giving in life but also all the mountains that you have to climb and conquer too. I am just so lucky to have had those few months with Olivia and I am proud to be her mom. I know that one of these years I will be having to explain all this to Wyatt why his big sister is a picture on the wall but one thing I will tell him is that he has a very very special sister that is his guardian angel in heaven that will forever look over him from above.

Walk to Remember

Today was the "Walk to Remember" and it turned out really nice. We had a pretty good turn out most of the people were new and hadn't been there last year. We were the only ones who had lost a baby to SIDS everyone else was stillborns or miscarriages. We played a few songs on called "Tiny Angels" and the other "Too Good For This World". It was a very hard day. We had jackets made up to wear and Wyatt's us really cute it said "My big sis Olivia always watching over me" and the font they used looked like a little kid and wrote it. I help him write on a balloon for Olivia and then he held it and let it go by himself. I will post some pics later so check back.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM GRANDMA!!

September 17, 2008

For My Pretty Girl

I Remember

I remember 3 years ago today

I remember the chubby little cheeks

I remember just wanting to hold her in my arms

I remember the smile on her mothers face

I remember the joy turning into fear

I remember how hard she fought that week

I remember praying every time I seen her

I remember her winning the battle she was dealt

I remember her big brown eyes

I remember her giggle and smile

I remember rocking her even after she slept

I remember watching her for hours

I remember that February day

I remember the call that plays over in my head

I remember the look on the doctor’s face

I remember those words…I’m sorry she’s gone

I remember holding my Pretty Girl

I remember trying to keep her warm

I remember the loss in her parent’s eyes

I remember rocking her and rocking her

I remember asking again and again WHY WHY WHY

I remember thinking how it could have been

I remember my Pretty Girl each and every day

And that my friend No one…NOT NO ONE can take that away.

Grandma loves you Olivia Marie

You will always be my Pretty Girl

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Happy Birthday Olivia!!!
We love and missed you very much!!
I hope that your 3rd birthday in heaven is all you wanted it to be!
Love Always & Forever,
Mom, Dad, & Wyatt

Blankets Ready To Go!!!

I finally got all these blankets done to take to the hospital on Wednesday for Olivia's birthday. This time I will be donating 63 blankets!!!

Blankets, Blankets, Blankets!!!!!!

Well Olivia's birthday is September 17th and every year for her birthday I am going to make blankets to take to EIRMC NICU and give to the babies. This year I am taking about 60 blankets!!! I put a little tag on each one for the parents to read. Here is a picture of that tag. I really enjoy doing this and its just special just like Olivia. I know that she has a very giving heart and that she helps others and I am just her little worker here on earth doing just that for her and I love it. I wish that there was more that I could do to help others and maybe someday I can right know this is what I am doing.

This is a picture of the tags that goes on each blanket.

Blankets!!! The little pile is the ones that are done the big pile still need to be cut!!

Walk To Remember

On Sept. 27th at Freeman Park in Idaho Falls we are having the 2nd Annual Walk to Remember. My mom and I are helping a friend of mine organize this program. This is a day of honor and remembrance for families and friends of babies lost to miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death.
The theme is: We walk to remember the steps they will never take.

The sad thing is that last year we had a pretty good turn out and that alone just breaks my heart.

I will keep you posted more on this the closer that it gets!!